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Questions of life and death
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| Questions of life and death |
| 04.15.05 (5:22 pm) [edit] |
I had a sudden reboot job and lost the link to a page I hope I can find again. I mention this because I will be referring to it and imagine there will be others interested in reading the 'real life' story I will mention.
The author whose name I do not know, although the name Craig or Chris comes to mind I can't be sure, tells the personal story of his life living with a serial killer. I will not attempt to tell the story only share the thoughts that came to me after reading it. It was a powerful story where reality and horror blend. It was not known by the family that this man had been murdering women for years as they passed from town to town. Only in the last years did things begin to click with the wife and she went to the authorities.
Throughout the story you read about a man that seemingly, if actions mean anything, cared for his family. These actions may have all been an act or self serving. I do not know. But, I sensed in the author a certain sadness although he made no secret that he hated the man and was happy he was finally executed. I do not know but got the impression that the author was against the death penalty but was able to reconcile with this one.
The story raised in me memories of my father and in fact my comment to this man went something like this; "Your essay stirred up feelings of my father who has been dead some years now. I miss him. He was an alcoholic and a sadistic brute. I lived in fear of him most of the time. But, there were those moments when he was dad. I loved him although I don't know why."
Only in the past few years and after moving to Europe have I began to question the death penalty. My questions arose after too many stories of innocent men being executed and not because of any feelings that putting to death a murderer is wrong. I had always without question accepted that the bad guys lose. It happened in every western and cop show I watched as a child. The good guys win and the bad guys lose. Realistically this is not true. In fact, my own life proved this. As a child I questioned everyday why God did not get me out of the horror story I lived in. As I grew up I began to realize that good, bad and all that's in-between mingle and all reap the fruits. These properties are inseperable in every aspect of our lives.
Although I live now in a culture that promotes life and aschews the death penalty as barbaric, I still believe there are times when it is acceptable. I question this feeling because I somehow know that they are right and I am wrong. But, the reality is that I don't feel this, at least not yet. I have fought all my life both literally and figuratively and accepted that the good hurt and die along with the bad.
But, I am against the death penalty today because I cannot reconcile with killing an innocent man. As stout as my heart is and no matter how well I understand the horrors men are able to inflict on each other and their children I cannot accept knowingly and calmly taking an innocent life. I am probably capable of killing but I am not a serial killer.
The plot is thickening and the story is getting longer than it should be so I will wind it up. I would like to go a bit further into American cultural thinking about good guys and bad guys but that can wait until another time and perhaps another author.
I've found the URL to the story mentioned in this piece. Do have a read and share your thoughts.
Life and Death
Comment on this piece at Pourquoi Pas
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